Wait, What Was I Saying?

I love, adore, cherish being a mom to three beautiful, smart, awesome, funny children. But I've come to realize that I've been slowly losing my mind since 2003 when I became pregnant with my first child.

I had heard other moms talk about it -- that having a baby sucks away some of your working brain cells -- but I denied that it could or would ever happen to me. Not to ME.

Yet I find myself losing my train of thought (in both speech and in writing), forgetting where I put things, forgetting what I was . . .wait, what was I saying?

I think part of the problem is that I have three worthy distractions now. My mind wanders to what THEY need, what THEY want, etc. This leaves very little for mommy. And that's OK . . . most of the time. But now that I'm trying to do more of a true work-from-home gig (rather than freelancing for online sites like Suite101 and Textbroker), I'm having a tough time staying focused and on-task.

LISTS are my saving grace. I'm a list-maker. I love lists. If I could have married a list, I would have. (But then I'd be rather lonely, so maybe not such a great idea.)

And I've realized it's all about balance. Bad news for me . . .I've always been a bit off-balance.

Still . . . I'll keep making my lists and try to remember where I put my purse, where I left the baby, and what I was saying. Wait, did I leave the oven on?

Thankful . . .

I'm thankful for so many things in my life . . . my husband, my kids, my entire family.

But what I'm most thankful for right now is that this year is almost over. This has been a really, really crappy year for us. It just sucked in so many ways.

2011 is going to be the best year yet. I'm demanding it. It WILL happen.

Sleep is Soooooo Overrated When Cuddles Are Involved

I also thought I could title this blog entry as "Other Jobs I Could Do That Require No Sleep." 

I guess I just don't know how to use "The Secret" correctly. And praying for sleep just isn't getting it done either. All three kiddos were up at some point last night (deja vu? I think I've posted that exact sentence way too many times). 

I like to sleep. Who am I kidding? I LOVE to sleep. I could sleep 12-14 hours, if a few little people I know would let me. 

And I know, I know. This is just that stage of parenting: little kids don't sleep well and we have to wait until the stage when they do sleep. But surely there is a way to TEACH them to sleep better. Or better yet, a way to teach them to simply go back to sleep after they wake up in the wee hours of the night. 

A conversation with my four-year-old:

Me: So, Alex, why do you think you keep climbing into my bed in the middle of the night?

Alex: Because, because . . .because . . .you keep carrying me back into my bed when I get into your bed, but I want to cuddle you. Don't you want to cuddle me?

Me: Of course, I want to cuddle you . . .I just prefer to cuddle in the middle of the day. 

Alex: But I like to cuddle you always! . . . I love you, Mama.

OK, OK . . . I know. My kiddos are pretty freaking awesome. And I'm lucky and blessed to have them. And I want to appreciate these middle of the night cuddles because I know they won't last forever. Yeah, I may be able to sleep through the night then, but I'll be honest, I will miss the cuddles. 

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As a friend said to me yesterday: "Being a mom is fun; being a parent is a pain."

Using The Secret

As I went to bed last night, I told Chris that I was going to use "The Secret" and simply will myself (and the kids) to have a good night's sleep.

And it worked! . . . well, sort of.

Alex got into bed with us at some point in the wee hours of the night, but I managed to sleep through most of his thrashing and wailing and grinding of teeth and kicking. And the other two kiddos slept through the night.

So now tonight, instead of willing us all to sleep well, I'm going to will everyone to sleep in his or her OWN bed! It'll happen, right?!

Kickboxing. Sport of the Future.

As I snuggled with my littlest one in the wee hours of the night last night (in between snuggles with his big brother), I was thinking about one of the posts I read yesterday from one of the blogs that I follow.

Scary Mommy Blog (great, funny blog!)

Imagine yourself at 16 years . . . what would you say to your 16-year-old self if you could go back and tell her things? So many things to think about  . . . Seriously, what would you NOT say to your teenage self? I guess mostly, that worrying about what other people think of you really isn't worth the energy. And I really wish I weren't as shy as I was.

So my mind then jumped to my favorite movie: Say Anything. (So many awesome lines from that movie, "Kickboxing. Sport of the future.")

Say Anything Trailer

There is just something about that movie that I love. I loved it when I was 16 too. And then I realized . . .that was 20 freaking years ago! TWENTY years, people. Twenty YEARS!

How did that happen?! How did that many years pass by already?

And then I thought . . . hmmmm . . . . looking twenty years ahead . . . what would my 56-year-old self say to my current-day self?

I'm guessing it'll be something like make sure to cherish the time with the kids, it goes by too fast (well, duh!), save, save, save, and that this too shall pass. We're having a tough time right now. Life is hard. Life is expensive. Life can be sucky when people screw you over. But I'm hopeful that the 56-year-old version of me would calm me down and reassure me that things WILL get better.

I'm also willing to bet that my future self probably won't be telling me that kickboxing is indeed the sport of the future. But wouldn't that be cool?

And God said . . .

A very wise (and sleepy) 4-year-old little boy told me last night that he's pretty sure that God told him that he didn't have to sleep.

Thanks, God. Thanks a lot.

An Update on Sleep (or the Lack Thereof)

Sleep remains elusive. Well, let me clarify that. GOOD, quality sleep remains elusive.

While Maddie tends to sleep well 9 out of 10 nights, she has nightmares, walks in her sleep, talks in her sleep. You name it, she's got it. Not bad though. I can handle that one night every so often.

Alex . . . oh, Alex . . . why won't you sleep . . . in your own freaking big boy bed?! My little man turned four on October 16. Alas, my dreams were dashed when Alex did not suddenly turn into the world's best sleeper once four years hit (at 10:50 a.m., I might add). No, no. He's still making his way into our king-size bed at least once, often twice, a night.

Nate turns two years old in two weeks. Crazy! And his sleeping (or lack thereof, lest we forget) habits are pitiful. Pitiful! He falls asleep like a dream, but he too is up once or twice a night.

I'm tired. Being a mommy means being tired. I know that. I realize that. I'm living that.

It helps that I love these three little ones with my whole (and tired) heart.

I did it!

I did it! I actually posted again. I'm on a roll!

Halloween was a lot of fun! Kids had a blast at our neighbors' annual grill-out blast before the trick-or-treating festivities.

Alex: Wow! I really love this Halloween. (this said BEFORE we even went trick-or-treating!)

For the first year ever, I walked with Chris and the kids. It was so much fun to see how excited they were! It was great weather here too, so that made it great. Plus, we have some really creative neighbors who are really in to Halloween. Fun!

Some pix of our trick-or-treaters . . .

And Chris got out the Mind Flex game, per Alex's instruction. Here is Natey trying his hand, er, mind, at it for the first time. Awesomeness.